Blows and Beginnings

I envy those who are able to write good books while working full-time jobs. I seem to lack that kind of energy, so I only work part-time, freelance, in publishing. Sometimes, like today, working full-time, having a regular job, looks good. I lost funding for a writing gig that I knew was only temporary, but had hoped would last a bit longer. Whenever I suffer a blow, it throws my whole life into relief. I am asked, again, to commit to the choices I've made. Those disappointments also threaten to take me under, and I'm struggling against that right now, reminding myself that I knew it was only temporary, that it was a great opportunity that polished old skills, and that another job will come, as they always have. I believe that, but it's hard to feel when the disappointment is fresh and strong.

There is good news as well (I remind myself). I'm starting a new job tomorrow, one that will bring together what my partner calls my mousey skills (attention to detail) and my editorial eye. It's very part-time, but should be stable, and that will be a great thing for my income, which too often has been on shifting sand. I've also worked for this client before, so I expect that we'll have a good, productive relationship for a long time.